Monday, April 25, 2011

Help! A Cop Dropped Into My Story!

Last weekend as part of the local Sisters in Crime writers' group, I co-taught a workshop at the Civic Center Library. The woman in charge teamed me up with a, gasp, cop. We did a workshop on how someone like me - Gilmore Girlish, teacher, mother, have another brownie - type person can possible write dark suspense. My partner, Isabella Maldonado, was a twenty year veteran of a special task force: think Angelina Jolie in Lora Croft. She - all Angelina Jolie professional, cop, mother - wants to soften the reality, be more creative. I definitely came out the winner of the tagteam because I learned so much from Bella.


One of the more interesting things she did was take my first suspense Pursuit of Justice and look at what I did well and what I didn't quite manage to get right. I'm going to post some of the examples. Look below.



1. Rosa should never have purchased this car. Statistics showed that red
cars were pulled over for speeding more often than any other color...

2. The afternoon sun bounced off his mirrored glasses, giving him a
peculiar insect sort of look.

3. He grabbed the radio from his belt and called a Code One
Thousand.

4. He flinched as a gun's report rendered him momentarily deaf.

5. He had her on the ground in two seconds flat and finished giving the
Miranda to the back of her head.

Three are misses; two are hits. Can you guess the misses and why?

Go ahead, comment. I'll tell you how you did this evening.

4 comments:

Terri Reed said...

Hmmm, I'll play

1. Rosa should never have purchased this car. Statistics showed that red
cars were pulled over for speeding more often than any other color... TRUE or at least my husband tells me this is true and won't let me buy a red car. LOL

2. The afternoon sun bounced off his mirrored glasses, giving him a
peculiar insect sort of look. A VERY INTERESTING VISUAL-

3. He grabbed the radio from his belt and called a Code One
Thousand. I DON'T THINK RADIOS ARE ON BELTS AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A CODE ONE THOUSAND IS.

4. He flinched as a gun's report rendered him momentarily deaf. I THINK A GUN MAKES ONES EARS RING-AT LEAST THAT WAS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME

5. He had her on the ground in two seconds flat and finished giving the
Miranda to the back of her head. HMMM-NOT SURE IF THIS IS A HIT OR MISS.
COME ON, PAM, TELL US!

Debby Giusti said...

Pam, you have to tell us the answers! Pretty please!

PamelaTracy said...

According to Bella:
1. There is no statistic about red cars. It's a myth.
2. Cops cannot wear this kind of sunglasses. It's viewed as making them intimidating.
3. Because my hero was a detective, I did this righit. He would have a radio on his belt and not in his car. I got the code right, too.
4. I did this one right. She says after the gun goes off, you're usually hard of hearing for a minute or two.
5. I should have said Miranda, not the Miranda. Jargon.

Liz Ann said...

How cool! That's so fun! Thanks for sharing these tips. It's always great to be reminded how much is lore and how much is real. :)