Howdy, all. Dana Mentink here and I…hang on. I’ve got a call coming in. Back in a flash.
Have you noticed the world has gone crazy over cell phones? I was in the grocery store today and a woman was firing ANGRY words into her cell phone loud enough for us all in the bread department to hear. One aisle over it was a gal reconnecting with a friend from the past. (They’re going to try to get together on Wednesday which is the friend’s only day off during the week.) Across the meat counter I was privy to a conversation between a lady and the woman who would be babysitting for her later in the day and the man in the pasta aisle? I wish him good luck on the rice dish he’s going to attempt tonight. It struck me that I was immersed in the worlds of four different people who I have never even been introduced to. Interesting, how this age of sharing has blurred the lines between our public and private personas.
Wouldn’t a snippet of a private conversation that wasn’t so private make for an interesting suspense story? Here’s the first line. Can you add the next one?
“Doesn’t matter,” the man spat into the phone, “I know what you did and I’m not going away. You’ll never be free of me.”
10 comments:
Yup, Dana, that's a good opening.
"I'm free as long as I know the truth." Roslyn tried to sound convincing as she scanned the grocery store. He couldn't be here, could he? Hiding in the cereal aisle, waiting for her to check-out?
Lisa shuddered. She tried not to make eye contact with the man as she passed by him, wheeling her cart with the broken front wheel.
Too late.
The cart sideswiped him. Cell phone man turned and glared at her. His fuzzy brown eyebrows reached the top of his forehead and his dark eyes shot angry daggers.
She swallowed hard.
She knew him and as recognition dawned in his face, she left the cart piled high with her groceries for the week and sprinted for the entrance of the store...
Oooh! Good one, Hope and Sheri! I see some good suspense novels in the making. What would a good title be? Dropped Call? Fatal Phonecall? Caller D.O.A.?
What about "Phone Spy"? :o)
Cool post, Dana! Love these next lines. If I wasn't brain dead from working on four different books at the same time, I'd try to come up with one. :)
Oh dear, Lynette! Four different books at once? Wow! Chin up. Best pencil forward!
What a jerk. Krystal couldn’t believe that women still put up with that nonsense. She had an urge to go and give that man a peace of her mind.
Or
Oh no! He’s coming this way. Of all the places to be caught hearing a threat the fruit and veggie section was not it! Creeping around your own parents mini mart after a disastrous day so not cool!
Sketch girl...I would totally read your story! :)
"Good grief!" Dana rolled her eyes and angled her cart away from the man standing in the middle of the produce aisle. "Doesn't anyone think about privacy?"
Hmmmm? Maybe a topic for a blog post. The Craftie Ladies. Suspense writers. Why it just might work.
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